A Nation Divided Red vs. Blue

“Coke tastes better than Pepsi” I said to Jay as he pulled an ice cold can of Pepsi from the refrigerator. The can cracked with a crisp snap as Jay opened it, reminiscent of the crisp refreshment he soon be enjoying. “Yeah Coke tastes better if you like pop with a vanilla aftertaste” Jay retorted, “or if you like the taste of piss.” As I heard Jay speak these truths I knew I was wrong, but for some reason I continued to argue. I decided to go with the only argument that any fan of Coke can possibly use, the fact that it is older, and therefore better. “I just prefer the classic taste of Coke.” John mindlessly recited what the Coke ads said. It took Jay a moment to respond, as he was thoroughly enjoying his ice-cold Pepsi. “That argument is total bullshit” Jay replied with the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, “First of all the older a recipe is doesn’t automatically mean it tastes better. Dr. Pepper and Moxie were both introduced before Coke, so by your own logic those taste better. Second of all Coke is now referred to as “Coca-Cola Classic” because in 1985 they changed the formula to “New Coke”, which was a rip-off of Pepsi. After a few months they changed it back for the “nostalgic” formula. Last time I checked Pepsi never tried to rip Coke off, because Coke sucks.” Damn, I thought to myself. I was hoping Jay didn’t know about the “New Coke”, and how obvious it was that Coke tried to rip Pepsi off. All I could do was stand in awe, Jay was as cool as the Pepsi can, with perfect condensation droplets formed on the can.